Literally.

A former high school teacher of mine (Ms. Keirstead) reminded me of this peeve.


Do not use "literally" to explain something you did "figuratively".

For instance:
"The exam was so hard, I literally killed myself afterwards."

There is nothing literal about that. The fact that I heard you say that proves that you did not "literally" kill yourself.

Or perhaps:
"I bought so many hookers in Amsterdam that my credit card literally melted."

Highly unlikely. Swiping a debit/credit card will not make it melt.
If this actually happens, please contact me. I will literally (yes, literally) send you a cookie.

How about:
"I saw my ex-boyfriend on the side of the road and I literally ran him over, I was so angry."

This had better be figurative. Otherwise, that's manslaughter.



So be careful with your hyperbole and DO NOT use "literally" about something that was actually figurative. Someone might actually think that you killed the clerk at 7-Eleven for taking too long to find a soft pack of Camel crushes.


P.B. (post blog)

Thanks to my brother Tom Gilbert for this. and this.