"It's A Free Country."

I have very rarely heard this phrase ACTUALLY used when it is warranted.

Sure, "it's a free country". You're free to door a meter maid for a particularly nasty parking ticket. You're free to run over your ex-boyfriend after a particularly nasty break-up. You're free to steal 10 xbox games from someone's dorm room.

You're also free to spend a few years in jail or be a raging douchebag. No worries, right?

Before you ever say this phrase, think and try to give ANY other reason to replace that phrase. Chances are it makes more sense.

Rock Band/Guitar Hero.

Although this blogger does enjoy his Rock Band or Guitar Hero every now and then, something has emerged from the fun and entered the PEEVEzone.

Thanks to these games, I have heard Carry On My Wayward Son more times than I have ever wanted to - ON THE RADIO.

PLEASE.

From playing the game enough, I know The Police's Message In A Bottle by heart. I DO NOT need to hear it on the radio 5 times a day.

My air guitar has become WAY too accurate.

Coffee Book Tables. (Courtesy of Russo)

There is no argument against this.

You've found an absolutely splendid couch and you have 100% set up a serious camp on it. You look in front of you and see the coffee table. In your head, you think, "OH YES. I AM MOST CERTAINLY GETTING MY LEG REST GOING ON WITH THIS HERE COFFEE TABLE."

You put your feet on the edge of the coffee table.

LATER.

The fucking thing slips out from your feet and slides across the floor like a piece of butter. Sucks.

Or worse: You get your jam on with that coffee table - no slidage. Then some douche who you barely know flops down on the couch, sees your feet and then decides that copying you is a great call. NOW the table slides away.

THANKS, PAL - LOVE, JAY.

Billy Mays needs to get on this shit. Quickly.

Entitlement instead of Cooperation.

I don't have road rage. I don't care when people go kinda slow or don't put their blinker on or whatever. yeah, they suck, but it doesn't get me that bad. But what fucking bugs the shit out of me is when people "merge" into the highway by NOT slowing down or speeding up to meet a gap in the lane, but instead hugging the white line on the right side and following it until it is fully merged into the highway, staying the same speed the whole time and not looking around AT ALL to work with other people to let them in. No, they just feel entitled to a spot in the lane where the right white line closes the merging lane into the regular highway. What fucks.

Idiots

I fucking hate it when I go to a show and am excited to go see a band i really like, and then the fucking young-ass kids standing in front of me or to the side of me think it will make them the most popular kids in high school if they give the band a high five, and makes jokes with the band like they know them, but they are just saying them really really loud and being super fucking giggly with one another. or the gross kinda skanky girl dancing just a little bit too close. or the too drunk girl yelling when it isnt appropriate and the equally douchy and stoked boyfriend.

goddamn.

Sweatshirts.

You know that sweatshirt that you have that you really like - except there is ONE thing wrong with it.

The cuffs on the sleeves are looser than Paris Hilton's overused vagina and you're basically forced to pull the sleeves up to your elbows.

This is REALLY similar to the stretched shirt neck peeve of mine. The stretched out sleeves are so awkward feeling. The worst part is knowing that the entire sweatshirt fits TOTALLY normally with the exception of the sleeves.

Good luck eating a hot dog or pasta or anything - because you'll practically be DIPPING THOSE SLEEVES IN THAT SHIT. And you KNOW it's going to stain, just to rub it in.

Receipts.

I just want a receipt - not a full scale replica of the Dead Sea scrolls, thank you.